I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
