Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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