I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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