her vagine was all disorganized.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
