SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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