It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
