I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
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It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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