i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is the high leading the old right now
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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