Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
