Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
