girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
