How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
