I bet he comes in French.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
