I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
