I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize