Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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