ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
