i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
