Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
