we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize