I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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