I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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