Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
