my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
