And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
