May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
