Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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