i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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