Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im holly from the hills drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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