We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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