somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
