Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry rswier509 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(830): View more from Texas

You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

Fav 7 1189 2027
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

Fav 16 3517 1474
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.

Fav 13 1850 4158
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about

Fav 32 8109 1354
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths

Fav 23 1193 4462
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast

Fav 39 7218 1460
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

Fav 13 6222 1317
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.

Fav 5 772 912
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her

Fav 0 174 333
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT