very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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