Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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