i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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