Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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