i just made my gag reflex go away.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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