Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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