the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
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