Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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