Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
