Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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