When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
