i think i have herpe
just one?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
