$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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