I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize