We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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