Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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