That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
