No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
