I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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