make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
