Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize