It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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