I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
