Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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