This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
